Saturday, September 25, 2004

Ja, men HEJ ...

Okay. So I'm started. C, my copatriot here in Stockholm, initiated this process. As ludicrous as it seems, I never considered doing a blog. Wow, I know, considering my ample boasting as web-person. In fact, it is quite a feat I have NEVER done one of these. Especially after Scotland. However, I hope to earnestly persue the various aspects of this expressive form.

OMG, will the lawyering words ever stop. Somehow, I think not. End of previous paragraph case-in-point. I am reminded of the incidence of Me this summer. We studied, intensely of course, for the Bar and stumbled across the most useful phrase in law. Well, besides all the other words in Black's Dictionary, this phrase is incredibly useful: irretrievably broken. The mere concept of something being so lost as to render it utterly broken, and more over, not even collectable in pieces. To think ... lawyers use this in the context of a marriage. How sad is that. Anyways, we turned it into a joke this summer. Me and I used it so often it became reflex. Then there was the near death experience at Coppland's. Too much joking at dinner is really dangerous, however, quickly averted by removal of pasta from the threat of snarfed soda and bread without further incident. We were not, in fact, irretrievably broken, and the joke lived on. Irretrievably broken.

I still use it, frequently, to the dismay of my multi-ethnic class. I swear, I think they understand me 28% of the time. Apparently I have a 'melody' that some people have trouble following. You know what it may equate to is standing in a loud bar, trying to talk to someone you just met. They really have no clue what you are saying half the time over the din of the music, but they smile to be polite. Add in a few drinks and they speak in several languages, and even on rare occasion, tongues. It's my own fault for being an ass about the whole english thing. I guess. But let me tell you, it's just tough when your professors ask you, in 5 minutes, to explain standard of review in american courts. I will give a cookie to anyone who can do it. In any event, other great words for use are defenistrate and squelch. Squelch probably being my favorite, but defenistration being the most useful as a threat. My mom uses it frequently ...

Okay, so point of reivew: This will probably be an absurd collage of random thoughts. Cohesion is NOT a driving force. In so far as this will probably drive people nuts, my apologies. My mind just does not function in a line like it's supposed to. Whoever said minds are linear. I think if someone tried to map my mind it would resemble difraction contructs of the chaos theory. Wait, the chaos theory may BE difraction theory. I can never remember. See what I mean ...

This is also a great point for a Ja Men Hej! I guess I should explain this random exclamation. Anyone who has seen swedish TV knows that the creative juices flowing into the scripts of the commercial writer-ing pool is, well, lame. I swear. someone is syphoning it off. They have some of the wierdest commercials. There will definitely be blogging on commercials at some point, but for now, the commerical that spawned my new saying: The Pension commerical. There are two variants, of course. In one there are women. In the other men. Commercial one shows a woman reaching into her trunk for her tank because she forgot to fill it. Anyways, she closes her trunk and sees this other, random, chick out in the corn. Very Field-of-Dreams-esque. She exclaims, "Ja men hej, det ar jag, " meaning, "DUDE, it's me!" okay okay, so I am projecting the 'dude', but it's like ojala! or holy shit. you get the point at least. The second in this vein of commercials, is a man meeting himself on a beach. I picked up Vad Da? which is a very strong WHAT?!!??! In any event, Ja men hej is my newly annointed word. I plan on obtaining an expansive, and comprehensive, swenglish vocabular while I'm here. Ja, men hej ...


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