Monday, May 09, 2005

The Extremes of Family Time

I just finished JC's posting on family time. Family time is when you live apart from your family, meet up with them on 'special' occasions and have dinner, lunch or otherwise gather and interact. There are two major experiences I've had, well three actually, in this situations.

(1) JC's position: Just BE there. The family loves you and wants to spend time with you, but when you show up they don't interact with you. Either 'more important things' are giong on or this always happens to you. This rarely happens to me. Mostly b/c I'm a busy body, and I can insert myself into a conversation relatively easy. It has happened though.

(2) BE there so we can talk about you. Trophyism. Mother, father, what kid has not been part of a trphyism conversation. You are always there, nonresponsive, hoping they will stop talking. The worst is when they get stuff wrong, you want to correct them, but you always want to shrivel up and die. The parental pissing matches always put the cousins and siblings at odds at bigger gatherings. Even to hear what the 'kids' are doing, you'd think they were solving world hunger or something. Kids could really care less, unless you have a cousin who is always trying to outwit you and make it obvious to the other cousins. Needless to say, since I left the science field, this has not been a problem ...

(3) You will BE here and you will TALK to your Grandmother, she LOVes you! Yeah, the 'duty' call or visit. This is every major holiday, for the most part. You rarely get to see loved ones, and she may die soon, get your time in. This is not so hard, unless you favor one grandparent over another. This is my problem. I really like one of my grandparents, and I'm not so fond of the other. The other situation is going to see extended family because they live in town. OMG these are tough. I have absolutely no connection to these people, but they would take it as a complete offront if everyone doesn't go see them. It usually just a matter of 'when' are we going to do it. Mom and I usually fenagle a short visit by going before we have a commitment or by going just before/after a meal is planned for the family. The worst part is, now that they figured you are old enough to answer questions, you get 20 of them when yuo get in the door, half of which have to do with dating and love interests ... check please!

You know it's the truth. You've all been there. I'm sure I'm missing some categories, but these were the first to come to mind, and I have a meeting at 8:30 this morning.

Have a killer week people.


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