Friday, May 06, 2005

Gym Theory: Sex and Gym Types The Same?

I think just about everyone's been to a gym before. Individuals have different intensities and focuses while they are there. I wonder if this translates to the sex life as well.

The Face. Some people make those terrible faces, and turn all red, like the are trying to concentrate too hard. I've definitely seen that during sex. It doesn't really look like fun until they are done with the rep or set, and when they DO finished they are totally exhausted.

The Grunter. This is pretty annoying. I understand having to expell some extra air SOMETIMES, but doing it continuously is annoying. Can you imagine someone doing that during sex? It'd be like the Oh-Face from OfficeSpace, just incoherent sounds to try and get yourself through it. It doesn't really add anything, but it makes you feel like you get just a little more in.

The Counter. This is not as prominent as the grunting, but it probably more common. Most people will count while they are lifting to get through the set. These are people, i;d imagine, who like the rhythmic sex. But I have to say, recounting a number does not make it a rep, once you are done you are done, just like in sex. (Ironically, if you are a counter, and you're lifting heavy, your last number is usually a sputter ... that definitely translates to sex!)

The Concentrator. This is the person who can lift 2kgs or 20kgs and it looks the same. The same motion, the same effort. There is just so much focus that there's no change. This is also the person who can lift and look stright forward or up without really seeing anything. I've definitely met this person during sex ...

The Narcissus. There are usually mirrors in the gym so you can watch your form. Make sure things align etc, so you get the most out of your workout. Some people, however, totally take advantage of this and look at themselves in the mirror. You seem the flexing and sucking. Sometimes they rub their face to test the stubble or flex their arms. What really gets old though, is the checking out the pecs, especially when they are lifting another body part. I'd imagine sex for these peopel is all about them, I've definitely seen this in action ...

The Watcher. These are the people who look around when resting between sets. They may watch someone in particular or just kind of let their eyes roam around. These people watch the trainers to get new lifting tips and are willing to try these, even if they look stupid. I've seen this at the gym LOTS, I tend to lean this way. Sex for these people is probably about the other person.

The One Body Part Person. Guys are especially guilty of this, focusing mostly on arms or chest. Girls tend to lean more towards a focus on legs. I bet these people like positions where you can really see their 'attributes', but I have to say people it limits the possible positions. Just putting it out there.

I was going to break it down by what body part people like to work out most, but I think it's going a little far afield.


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