Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Underwear Purposes: A Response To Jay

Jay wrote this terribly funny article on men's underwear. She will be doing an 'expose' as it were on women's under garments tomorrow, so please give her some hits and check it out. Beware, there are pictures of half naked men, and not all of them are pretty ... seriously. I will try and hit the high points.

Silk boxers: great for the guy who wants a perpetual hardon. I'm serious, there is nothing more erotic than loose silk next to your manbits. tight silk is okay, but who really wants to wear tight silk boxers? I mean, really!

Boxer briefs: My biggest issue with this is the use just for the purpose of showing crotch. Well, this can totally backfire on your if you do not have decent legs or an above average ass. Gaping boxerbriefs are VERY unbecoming. Tight boxerbriefs (and I'm not talking lycra) can make this look really, well, disproportionate. The boxerbrief is definitely appropriate for the average person. To get the most out of them you should have nice legs, and an above average ass. Otherwise I recommend these for basket 'builders' so long as the rest of the trunk fits.

boxers: for those who don't really want to think about baskets or just REALLY want to surprise someone cause boxers can hide some big stuff. Boxers are pretty comfortable so long as they are the right size. I do not recommend running in boxers.

jocks and strap-type: only if you have a significant other into it, or you are REALLY REALLY trying to break your self back into underwear after going commando all your life. These can be very unflattering even on a person in great shape, and yes, I know this from experience. If you are going to pick out a pair I would recommend getting some with an extended drop pouch (so the seam is on the bottom of the front support). When you have a cross seam on the top of the pounch it maks things look a little, well, small, and if you are going to compromise yourself this far, just go for broke and make everything look bigger. Seam on the bottom ... end of story.

briefs: you really should have nice legs, and they should FIT, none of this saggy I'm kinda fat so I can't buy the right size ... you either buy em to fit or don't bother. Briefs are usually not my underwear of choice whether for me or on another. They can be nice on the right person, but they are just so unflattering.

Underarmour and Lycra: have to say I'm a BIG fan, but for reasons I won't go into here. They make your body retain heat, but they pull moisture out. They are good for working out, and REALLY REALLY accent features like ass, basket and legs. personally, I like to wear these on a first date and no ... not because I Think I'm getting any.

Everyone should have a pair of first date boxers. I know this sounds insane, but you should really have a pair of boxers that you wear for first dates, maybe they are a little unique, or maybe they make you look better in jeans. Personally I switch between Grey Underarmour boxerbriefs and boxer briefs with tigger on them.

Probably more than you wanted to know, but there it is!


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