Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Start to a New Semester

'Morning all. I've been up since 6:30. It is interesting how you fall into certain patterns, especially in the morning. I usually get up and have coffee and read the paper with my dad. WE started this when mom went to the states. The morning routine works since he usually remains nonconversational in the morning. It's good to read the paper in the morning. I usually check my email and have some breakfast after.

What's most interesting about the start back, is, not only the morning routine, but the evidently routine nature of my life here in general. Hmm, I'm not sure routine and general should be used in the same sentence, but there you have it. Several things remain routine: school, boredom, lack of significant other et cetera. School especially seems routine. My frustration with the administraiton of the course and the perpetual feeling of disdain for attending lectures persists, even after a refreshing holiday.

I was somewhat taken aback yesterday when a classmate asked if she should move so my 'friends' could sit with me. Suprisingly, I was inwardly hurt by the comment. I would not have expected such a strong internal reaction, but to think that a class of peers views me so dependent on others as to necesity a physical movement to sustain me, it was something I did not expect. No offense to C or D, but I am NOT dependent -- at least I hope not.

I think I need to start going out and meeting people though. For the longest time, I've debating asking one of the waitors at ChokladKoppen if they go out much, just to see if they would extend me an invite ... kind of passive agressive. I haven't seen one of my classmates, K, who would probably go out with me. If K and I went out, it would be more: Hi, we are going out, would you like to get a small group together and go out since oyu know more people in stockholm? That would be cool, I think. I'm still pining over M from last semester ... oh well. If he'd been here then I'd be more agressive ... but that is neither here nor there.

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