working out ...

I've been back to the gym now for alomst three weeks. I am finally getting back intot he swing of things. You know, that set-in of holidy induced atrophe that stubbornly thwarts your attempts to progress. I think it's a conspiracy somehow, but whatever, I'm past it.

There is a funny thing about the gym. I've finally, after two or so years of lifting to fend off my somewhat 'heavy' genes I carried through undergrad and part of law school, am comfortable going to the gym and lifting. I am happy with my weight progression, though slow currently, and i'm really enjoying the nice swelling or 'jacked' look when I'm done. It's nice. i've always a thing for veins, and, well, mine are starting to 'come in'. Well, at least I thought I was doing well and was happy with everything until I looked around ... and that is where the funniness starts.

I've generally nice legs. For the most part men neglect their legs, even though they are the largest testosterone producing unit on your body give mass and body ratios. Having played soccer and rugby, my legs have never been a problem. There are guys who lift outrageous amounts of weight but don't touch their legs. it is really sad, you've a tremendous body, but you look funny walking on stilts. Women are much better about balancing things, though they don't do their chest as much. Dont' fear the balance people, it really makes a difference.

So I was liking my body changes, I thought. Today I did shoulders, a small muscle group that always shows well when you finish. I will hurt terribly tomorrow, but whatever, it's a good hurt :) I was thinking, wow, I'm doing a good job, I am way far from where I was two years ago when I was F.A.T. (fat and toady). The problem being that you do not stand your two selfs together so your mind plays tricks on you. And dont' even get me started on comparing with others ...

Okay, so I will venture the comparison with others. I am relatively focused in the gym, but every now and they you will watch people doing new things, or maybe people doing exercises you usually do just a check. I also notice when people have a good balance on their bodies, probably since I find that attractive on some elemental level. And no, they are not always men, damn it >:( The only problem is that I get very comfortable with particular parts of my body, but then see someone else who has superior somethings or others, and I being to doubt that I'm not actually doing very well. It's very tough because my body varies and then I compare it to others, and it is difficult to get a sense of where my body should be. It's frustrating to some ends, but it keeps me working. Maybe I will get a personal trainer and see what I can do.

my best

~bsan